Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Anxiety Journal #11 - Quality of Life Improvement

It's been three months since I posted an anxiety journal, and if you couldn't tell from the title, it's going pretty well actually. When I last left off early august, I started juicing. This had some real positive effects which allowed me to continue improving. I transitioned from juicing to working out and adopting a healthy bodybuilding, high-protein diet.

I've made the following modifications to my life in effort to see improvement:
  • Tried juicing diet
  • Began taking daily multivitamin and B12 supplement
  • Adopted high protein diet
  • Started working out
  • Changed the time which I take my medication from morning to bedtime

The reason I haven't posted in three months is because I didn't want to give an incomplete picture and not be able to talk about the results of these experiments. I couldn't say everything's going great and then have panic attacks the next day and lead some poor soul to the same fate. Luckily I haven't had a panic attack in well over half a year.

In the three months, I juiced for one month and I've been working out for two. In the first month the results of juicing gave me an enormous amount of energy I hadn't felt in years. I went from being unable to get off the couch to getting up and washing dishes, taking out the trash, just trying to be useful and active in some way. I made sure I took a multivitamin and I tried taking 250mg tablets of B12 as well which worked well for me. The energy had a great effect on my outlook and I started seeking active ways I could keep improving my health.

The extra energy let me explore the curiosity I've had for a while to try my apartment building's gym room. At first it was really hard to find the will, but I just pushed myself and told myself I had to do it. Had to do SOMETHING. It really kicked my ass, which was well overweight at this time from the months of being unable to do much physically. I was sore and knocked out for a couple days after, but forced myself to try again.

As I started to research how to lift weights properly, I found I had to change my diet drastically and tried taking sports supplements to help me get going. This also went surprisingly well. None of the supplements I've tried have had any effect on my anxiety, except BPI's 1MR. It gave me the best and most intense workout I've had, but once I got home I had some heavy anxiety on the couch once I stopped being active and still had all that energy.

If you have an anxiety disorder and are working out, I'd just advise to be careful with pre-workout supplements. Especially if you're in the USA. Here in Canada the regulations are a lot stricter and we don't have the dangerous ones. Just be wary of stim products, or take them at half a dose.

As it stands now two months later, I'm taking the following supplements without issue:
My results after two months are very noticeable. As I was overweight, I've trimmed down a lot and dropped two inches off my waist. I'm looking more muscular and getting a lot of compliments, which has had a great effect on my confidence and outlook on life. I'm a lot less negative, and actively going out in the world again.

Lastly, taking my zoloft at night rather than in the morning had a huge effect on my fatigue as well. Turns out the biggest portion of my daytime fatigue was due to my pill. I always had a hunch since I'd wake up, take it, and then pass out for a few hours. Even so, I thought it was just tied to my anxiety. Now I take it with a casein protein shake about a half hour before I want to go to bed and I start falling asleep right on schedule. It's still pretty difficult to wake up, but I have more mental focus before noon than I used to.

To wrap this up: eat healthy, get active, focus on the present.

Until next time.

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Image via TanjaS/stock.xchng

Monday, August 13, 2012

Darksiders 2 and Sleeping Dogs

In case you've been sleeping, Darksiders 2 and Sleeping Dogs come out tomorrow (Aug. 14).

Today's your last chance to preorder and get those preorder benefits! Darksiders 2 is also able to be pre-loaded, so you can download it right now and have it ready to go tomorrow.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Anxiety Journal #10 - Hitting Rock-Bottom with Fatigue

Since my last post, things got a lot worse for me. I actually stopped blogging completely because any downtime I had at home I was just trying to recuperate whatever strength I could. The fatigue became overwhelming. Getting out of bed started feeling like it's a gold medal worthy effort.

And working... forget it.

I couldn't. I'd sit in the office brain-dead, just trying to salvage any energy to use for a couple minutes of work before I passed out.

It got to the point where I had to cash in on a week's vacation and I now have a week off where I'll hopefully recover. My regular days off between work just wasn't enough time to get back to 100% with the accumulated stress. Like I was saying last time, I was way past my low threshold.

Now finding myself with free time, I'm going to try get back to blogging at least once per day in one of my blogs. Without that creative outlet it becomes easy to feel like a slob, and like something is really wrong with me. It's important to try and feel as normal as possible.

I've also started considering other aspects to my fatigue problem, mainly dietary. I'll make it clear, I've been ignoring fruits and vegetables unless I'm eating somewhere else that's serving them. It's not that it's on purpose, but go visit the blog of anyone suffering from chronic fatigue and see how easy they find it to cook... Not very.

Making a bowl of ramen is usually as elaborate as it gets, for me anyway. On a good day, thaw a fish filet and throw it in the oven and hope I don't pass out while waiting for it.

So... After hearing Towelliee talk about how much of an impact it's had on his life while watching his Twitch TV livestream, I decided to give juicing a shot (using a juicer... not steroids!). While browsing for juicers on Amazon, my wife kindly reminded me that we have a Magic Bullet we were gifted when we moved in together and it has a juicer function. Naturally, the ease of drinking my food fits right into my absolutely-no-energy repertoire.

And... It's fantastic. I love it. I'm only on my second day juicing and I'm feeling more alert and awake. Then again... it is my day off. I'll be tracking how I feel once I return to work, but the way I see it consuming fruits and veggies in any form can't possibly make me feel any worse than I was.

"Energy Boost" juice; reported to reduce fatigue.

Until next time... Stay healthy!

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Friday, July 27, 2012

Anxiety Journal #9 - 4 Months on Zoloft

Hello internet,

Been a while since I checked in for my anxiety. I've been taking time to just really examine what's happening and try get my life back under control.

For the most part life is manageable. At first I was unsure if I would just be "cured" once I started taking Zoloft. It sure felt like it the first couple months. After 4 months it's safe to say that's not the case, but it sure helps a lot.

A way I like to explain it to people is like this: Say a scale of 1 to 10 is the scale of stress management for someone without an anxiety disorder. Side by side mine would be a 3. Maybe 4 on a good day. Before I was on zoloft, it was 0. Anything and everything sent me off the deep end, as I'm sure you know if you've sought out this post.

As I've been just trying to live normally, I've been observing how quickly I hit that ceiling of 3 to 4. Driving for example is much easier to deal with. I don't hit that ceiling anymore, there's a certain amount of relaxation when I have my music and I'm alone on the road.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Steam Summer Sale!

So I've benched Diablo for the moment due to the amazing deals courtesy of the Steam Summer Sale.

Here's what I've picked up so far:
  • Divinity 2: Dragon Knight Saga for $9.99
  • Bulletstorm for $4.99
  • Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines for $4.99
  • Deux Ex: Human Revolution for $7.49
  • Dragon Age: Origins - Ultimate Edition for $7.49
  • L.A. Noire for $4.99
  • Crysis Franchise for $17.49
  • Mirror's Edge for $4.99
  • The Witcher 1&2 Enhanced Editions for $18.48

I've been craving some good single player story-driven gameplay after the monotony of killing monsters in D3. I think I found it... A good few hundred hours of adventure there.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Monk - Inferno Act 2 Farm Spec

I`ve since cleared act 2, and been able to farm it pretty easily. I finally figured out how to gear a bit more appropriately, and had to redo my entire equipment selection and change up my spec. The stats I needed to really be able to move through smoothly was 460 all resist and about 18k damage.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan's Hope

Just wanted to send some good vibes to all the nerds and nerdettes at San Diego Comic-Con right now. Nothing compares to that feeling of being home among like-minded people. A place where imagination is celebrated. So be safe. Have fun. Get shwag.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Monk Inferno Act 2 Spec

I changed up the spec for my monk to help survive and kill things faster at the same time while in Inferno Act 2. I wish I thought of using an AOE for my attack earlier because it works a hell of a lot better. Killing elites moves much quicker being able to attack more than one of them simultaneously with Deadly Reach. Not to mention adding the Keen Eye rune gives a pretty sizable armor bonus. Because of the armor bonus I took out Mantra of Evasion and swapped in Mantra of Conviction for raw killing power. Adding Lashing Tail Kick and the Penitent Flame rune to Breath of Heaven adds much needed CC, again to add to the survivability for removing Mantra of Evasion.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

6 Geeky Podcasts Worth Your Time

1. Dave and Joel's Fast Karate for the Gentlemen

Podcasting since 2005, Dave and Joel are pioneers when it comes to geek podcasting. They started out by subjecting themselves to watching a lot of awful anime and reviewing/laughing at it. They've since turned more into a video game/TV/random things/food discussion show. These guys are hilarious, and their backlog is so vast that I guarantee you can find an episode on something you enjoy. If you're taking a vacation and are going to be stuck on a train or plane this is the kind of podcast you can just load up your audio device with and enjoy.

Website: http://www.daveandjoel.com

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Tribes Ascend: Double XP Week

In case you needed another reason to play Tribes:Ascend (it's free!), from July 4th-8th you can earn double xp in all matches played. If there's a weapon you've been eying but couldn't see yourself grinding out, now is the time. It's also a great time to get started if you've never played before.

Here's the official posting from their facebook page:

We’re awarding double XP this July 4th holiday week and weekend…starting tomorrow!

The double XP event will apply to servers worldwide.

You can play on any existing public or custom server between Wednesday, July 4th at 8:00am U.S. Eastern through Sunday, July 8th at 11:59pm U.S. Eastern and you will receive twice the base experience per match.


- All players are eligible for the Double XP event
- The promotion applies only to base XP. It does not apply to other XP sources such as Accolades or First Win of The Day.
- The promotion applies to public servers and custom servers that exist as of Wednesday, July 4th at 8:00am U.S. Eastern. The promotion does not apply to any Custom Server created or made active after the start of the event.
- Players with VIP status and/or an active XP boosts will receive those bonuses in addition to the double XP.

Source: Tribes Ascend Official Facebook Page
Image via Tribes Ascend Official Facebook Page

Friday, June 29, 2012

Anxiety Journal #8 - Medication Brand Change

One week has passed since my generic brand of zoloft changed, and this has actually worked out great for me. The chest pain symptom I was experiencing a week ago has drastically reduced in frequency, I've had a couple days where I didn't notice it a single time. The depression I was beginning to experience has lightened up again as well.

Gunnar MLG Phantom Review

The Phantom features MLG branding on the sides.

If you're unfamiliar with Gunnar eyewear, they create glasses designed to improve and enhance your digital experience. With glasses for general computer use, gaming, 3d, and even outdoors; these glasses are manufactured with purpose. They are also fully customizable with your personal prescription, or come naturally made for 20/20 vision.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Google Glass Unveiled

June 27 marked the start of 2012's I/O conference for Google developers. The highlight so far would have to be Project Glass; Google's attempt at bringing augmented reality to the masses. As you can see in the photo, it resembles a pair of glasses but the UI is contained above the right eye. For a more detailed user experience, read CNET's article in which they detail what it's like to wear them. Perhaps more impressive than the product itself was the manner in which they unveiled it. A skydiving team equipped with Google Glasses jumped out of a plane over San Francisco and landed on the Moscone Center where I/O is taking place. You can find the Youtube video of the stunt below.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Monk - Inferno Act 1 Spec

Following the nerf to inferno in Patch 1.0.3, I was able to go straight from hell to inferno without a hitch. The more people in inferno, the more people selling inferno-grade items which means lower prices. I bought three pieces of armor equipped with All-Resist, Dexterity & Vitality and was able to walk through it in one shot with 5 stacks of Nephalem Valour.

Friday, June 22, 2012